When the whole world was quiet in the darkness, one girl, about 16 years old, fell down into the place of unknown. When the girl stood up, she had a strange sensation in her body. She stopped groaning in pain and looked the area around her. She was in a old-fashioned house (appeared to be 1900s) where many people moved around in and out silently. The place she was in was all blurry (even the people and her body), and no definite shape existed. Everything took a form of non-newtonic fluid and was constantly waving. The girl was shocked with wonder and terror. The girl asked the woman walking beside her "where is this place?" but the woman didn't reply. She tried to catch her but the girl's hands couldn't catch the woman firmly. The woman seemed to be caught but soon got free of the girl's hand. More the girl concentrated, the world got more blurry and blurry.
After few minutes, the girl grew tired of catching and asking people, so she tried to get out of the house. She followed people's steps and finally saw the wooden door of the house. People were actually passing through the door! The girl couldn't believe what she was looking at. She tried to pass the door like the other people, but she couldn't. She tried again and again but she failed and failed. Finally, she got exhausted and gave up. She leaned on the door of the house. Then she passed through the door subconsciously! The girl was so happy and got out of that house.
Suddenly two men walked towards her. She couldn't describe why she was terribly afraid of those two men. But she could tell that if the other people were the mixture of chaos and light, the two men were just a pure dark, chaos. She started to away from those two men.
Finally she reached the bridge which was very high. It was sunset so the sky was filled with red light. But the presence of the two men terrified the girl so much that she didn't even notice the light around her. Finally two men came near her very close. The girl thought of jumping off to the river but she didn't have enough courage. All she could do was to scream.
Then the girl found herself in her bed screaming.
After this dream, the girl's view of the world changed. She stopped complaining about the world and herself.
There was no one to feel, no one to love, and no one to communicate in that world for her. The joy was taken over by horror and the fear eradicated every bit of her courage. But now, she could be happy. She could express herself and communicate with the others.
The girl just loved being herself.
Please look at the first and last paragraph to add more details. I am being told, not shown. Also, I was left with some questions (what is the dream vs reality?).
ReplyDeleteI liked your story because it was very creative but I found some errors so you should read it backwords to find spelling and grammatical errors
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